Monday, October 27, 2008

its Diwali time

diwali has come, festival of lights as they call it. makes u feel wonderful cos u get to wear all new clothes n every house(every nook n corner of streets ) is lighted up, it feels wonderful to see the flickering light n diyas.Sometimes nostalgic about the past diwalis and some times make you think about the future events which are going to take place and change it to a new direction.
Im trying to think of a topic from many days but since i have been depressed recently i am unable to think of anything....still im clueless for a new i thought i will begin with diwali stuff and in the end i may get some new story to write about....but still i think i will end it over here.... so happy diwali to one and all....

Friday, October 17, 2008

Hardest Lesson of life

when you go through the sad phase of life, we tend to learn many new philosophy( i mean to say hardest lesson) on the way. well, you must have read or heard this many times but i guess it suits to the context presently i am going through.
Life is all about letting it go, something which you desire the most, no matter how difficult it is. Initially it will hurt but later you get used to the pain i guess ( we tend to accept the things the way they are, not how we wanted it). If it comes back to you, it was yours. Else it was never meant to be yours. Yes that's the hardest thing but one need to accept it.
Like many say, you cant possess it( it here refers to the object of your desire) nor can you hold it tight in your hand cos its like the sand you try to hold in your hand, and when you tighten your fingers around it, it slips through, that's the way life is!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

y am i depressed?

i guess i should list out the numerous reasons for which i am depressed? its better to list out, then i will able to sort them out according to the their level of importance. ( giggling ...)
  • my holidays got over too soon.( common 1 week leave is short i feel)
  • i felt sad for the 1st time, leaving my old destination ( which i had taken for granted a times)
  • decision to leave my job and search for a better job (stay back to my old destination)
  • should i go for higher studies??? (a matter of confusion or dilemma and it haunts me!!!)
  • how to get a good job with a lovely pay package?( which i would like to show off to my family)
  • Fear of being jobless again ( u know, i have being through the phase where i was jobless for almost 1 year and its not easy , mark my words!)
  • I am never content with what i have, always found the other-side greener!
  • now i wanna become an nri again (its a tough decision and well india is not making me happy anymore)
  • moving to Mumbai is 1 solution( but still i will loose my independence, you see my relatives don't let me move out of their sight)
  • Still single!! sometimes it hurts ( when you see a lovey dovey couple....i hope you can understand)
  • To add to all, i saw my ex-crush snaps with a gal ( i know, i shouldn't affect me at all, but it does break your heart, at least my heart!!!)
  • my stupid HR is coming over to the office for the next 3 months, so no more blogging, orkuting and chatting ( which has become a major pastime for me and my frnd)
  • wana cry my heart out but it feels stupid to do that ( cos crying makes u weak and it wont end my problems too)
  • make a decision....this all seems crazy but in the end, i need to make the decision and the consequences stops me from doing that
  • I have turned into 1 weirdo, i say so, other day, i saw my old classmate in the mall, but instead of immediatly waving "hi" to her, i went into the opposite direction and was hoping that she doesnt recognize me. I did so, cos i was not in the mood of interacting and pretending that i was glad to meet her( not that i have any grudge against her) but just didnt wana interact! ( yes u must b thinking...i am 1 weirdo but couldnt help!!!)
( i think this is the most ridiculous idea of writing down why you're depressed?) well i have turned into 1 see i didnt even inform my frnd abt me leaving the old destination. i know its rude. but i was too pre-occupied with myself.....

I guess this sums up all the reasons, i dont wana lenghten the post as it will sound more depressing!


well I'm back , and my holidays are over. And i am thinking of renaming this blog as "DepressedSoul". I am depressed with the way things are turning out. And as they say, all worse thing happen at once. same is happening with me. Like all, even i don't know my future, and I'm scared of the consequences. There are too many things running in my head, its as though they are battling among themselves, "who gets the highest priority?". Until i figure out, what to do next..... i guess i will remain depressed. Its fun to announce that I'm depressed but yes i cant show in my outward appearance that I'm depressed, its only for me to see and bare it, the hidden fears that creep into you and make you sleepless and hoping this would end soon, but it doesn't end over there.
Yes we all go through it, and as they say, that until we go through the sufferings or pain, we don't realize how important life is! So we need to accept the pain and sufferings and sorrows, all at once, Cos accepting it heals you in some way, but i really lack patience , so I'm not in a mood for philosophy, but solace and i don't think i will find it soon...

Friday, October 10, 2008

mEANINGless post

i have taken a leave for about 1 week from work.Already 3 days got over and 2 days went in travelling to an old destination.But now when i sit here and think of the 3 days gone, i dunt know how it went by, its jst a matter of minutes i say, you close your eyes and you open it in some time and you have landed in another world. But nothing has changed, everything is still same. im still the lazy gal i know, yes i havent even contacted my frnds here. just silently watching everything, switching channels in tv and you tend to wonder "why arent there any good movies when i take a leave???" But other than that, the whole day just flew i feel. and suprisingly i didnt even sleep whole day( like i usually do), but as they say, time never waits for anyone, it moves on.....and you need to move on with it else you lag behind. But we are not in some race against time, so why worry ???
its become a meaningless post i feel, previously i had posted the title of the post as "bEING alone" but after writing such crap and i dunt realise what im writing, so i have renamed the title to "a meaningless post"!
hmmmm.....days, im just hoping time stops by for some days so that i dont have to worry that my holidays are getting over without even me enjoying it....yes i agree, i dunt have to get up early like before and i dont have to worry about my work and how i look and stuff???? But yes, enjoying a holiday should be more fun i say. Not lazing around the house like how im doing right now??? but cant help it...a meaningless day has gone by!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Its easier being a gal than a guy!

In a country like ours, I think its much easier being a gal than a guy; I say this due to the following reasons
  • Guys can’t cry when they really want to, as they will be considered a weakling!!! (Men have this particular notion in their head…. that gals cry, as they are weak).
  • By the age of 16, you should have watched the porn movies, and you have got to be the most knowledgeable person in that subject (else you’re not considered as “mature” by your peers)
  • You’re expected to remember your gf bday without fail (which I think is a very difficult job as you see men have got many other important things running in their mind.)
  • Your shoe cost around 1300 bucks, that’s the cheapest I believe (I guess we gals get our whole outfit in that budget, including the shoe)
  • You dont like your sister having a bf but you can have one.( now common guys are being protective). I shall put it in better words like this, you love staring at hot gals, but no-one should stare at your sister..... (i guess, you forget that your own sis can be a hottie for others !!)
  • You’re always expected to give gifts to your gf’s even though you’re not earning. (5 rs rose will also do in the worst case! You should have lot of pocket money)
  • You’re confused between friendship and love…(you see there are so many beautiful gals to be friendly with and its not fair to be committed to one!!!)
  • You're GF has to be the most beautiful person and hottest chick else your not lucky guy
  • You have to break one gals heart in your life, else how can you make out who was better, the new one or the EX-ONE??? (Common guys too have heart, its jus they don’t know whom to give it to!!!!!)
  • Guys with a bike are considered very cool and a guy with a car is considered as a spoilt brat! (Now that’s not fair!!)
  • If you haven’t tried smoking and drinking in your life, then you’re not considered cool by your peers! (Now common even gals smoke and drink, even though its injurious to health)
  • If your not tall, then you wont stand a second glance from a hot gal!
  • If you haven’t got great muscle body then your not hot!!! (I agree, it takes lot of time and energy to go to gym for building abs)
  • And you need to pretend to be brave and daring always (at least in front of your gf, but common guys are humans too and they cant be brave always, right guys???)
  • After completing studies, they can’t sit idle at home! (You need to go for work else you will be considered useless!)
  • And yes, you can’t get married until you reach the minimum age of 27yrs. (else your not enjoying your bachelorhood or I can say freedom).
  • Even if you’re handsome, still you wont be considered the best catch until you have got money in your pocket! (Job in MNC & a 3 bedroom flat adds to your status)
  • By the age of 35, you have to get married even though you’re scared of commitments!!! (I mean committing to one gal) else you have to remain sanyasi for the rest of your life (it’s the matter of choice guys)
  • And after marriage, you can’t go and stay in your wife’s house for more than 3 days; else people get a doubt that you’re not earning at all! (Or you got no self respect)
  • You have to be the most understanding and caring guy, when your
    Gf /wife is going through her PMS (even though you find it very difficult to understand the pain of PMS) else you’re considered as a heartless guy!! (now common how can a guy understand the pain, when he is not feeling or going through it, it’s a very difficult task I say!)
  • And lastly if you are not earning as much as your wife spends, then you are not earning enough! (Common work harder and get more money its inflation time honey)
  • And you cant quit a job, just cos you don’t like your boss (you have got responsibility of your family & people are dependent on you)
  • And if you have not made it big (big here refers to a high status in society) by the age of 30, you’re considered as a looser by the society
  • And by the age of 50, if you still haven’t got a house of your own, then you haven’t achieved anything in this past 50 yrs! (And may I warn you; even your sport medals don’t count here!)
  • And if you have got a daughter, you got to protect her from the same type of guy you had been once!!
Now who says, we are living in a male dominated society? I guess, men are still trying to cope up with their role in the society, as they have to handle the burden of being a man, which was given to them by their ancestors!! So cheers for the guys, cos they are really trying hard…..

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Small things in life

There are many small moments in our life, which may never come back again but they still remain in our memories....some sweet and some bitter....but they become a part of you, as you move on with your life. Those school days, when my mom use to walk me to school, and i use to always think that some day i would go to school in "CAR". When my elder cousins use to write in "Hero Pens"..i had a big desire of using those pens for writing instead of a pencil. I use to write letters to the moon to come down and take me for a ride to the stars. Infact i had bribed the moon by placing some sweets with the letter and buried it under the ground, so that no one can else can touch it. Those grandma stories, whenever i felt like hearing one, grandma would recite them. Those ciggrate chocolates, hiding and puffing them as though we are grown up and behaving like elders. Kitchen set collection and those barbie doll houses, cooking and playing all the time. But now i seem to run off from kitchen itself, it gives me all the possible creeps. Those childhood days are the golden days, running around in frocks and during diwali, we have a competion who will crack the most number of crackers? Sharing tiffin boxes in school and sometimes running to teacher to complain about the stolen compass box!!! i guess we all never grow up. cant stop complaining now also....there are many more small things and i guess without them, we would never be complete.....

Innonece of Prishi

Prishi, who is just 4 years old, came running to the room where her mom was arranging the old clothes for sending it to the relief centre. She scanned through the room and found her set of clothes kept in 1 corner, she went through them and informed her mom, that she is going to keep all her old clothes in a safe place. Her mom was confused, she just gave a nod and asked Prishi what she would be doing with those old clothes? And for her suprise, Prishi replied by saying that she is goin to preserve all her clothes for her daughter......