Don't worry this is not another reality show coming up on Indian Television. Traditionally in our Indian community, our parents selects the groom for his daughter, even today. Now what do parents look in a guy as to be determined if he is the most suitable groom??
The primary qualities should be
- He should be a boy.( I mean to say, he should be straight and not gay).
- Next He should belong to the same caste as well as same religion.
- He should be earning very well.
- He should be highly qualified.
- He should belong to a very good family.
- Horoscopes should match.
- People who are Nri, mostly prefer Nri son-in-law.
The Secondary qualities are listed below:
- He should respect elders and promise to keep the daughter like a princess.
- He should not have any bad habits like Drinking or Smoking.
- He should have his own house.
- And in some case, if he has a sister, she should be already married off.
- He should be very good looking. (this is very rare, but sometimes it can be a priority)
I think I have listed almost the main points, rest you can add your own qualities in this list.
Now the issue is, if the gal is in love with a boy, parents are never able to accept it.I guess the parents feel their Right to select the best available groom in the market has being snatched away from them. Moreover,the boy doesn't have One of the primary qualities (those listed above) in him,even if he has the rest other qualities matching. What would you do in such a tricky situation? Don't tell me those filmy ideas of DDLJ, now a days parents are more smart. I know some would say that convince your parents about your happiness and damn the society, but does it really convince them ??? Some where deep down, the gals feels guilt for hurting the parents. Even I would say convincing is the only option available but in extreme cases, that doesn't work too, even if they love their daughter too much.
I am not blaming the parents, but atleast they can be accommodating. Some parents start their emotional attyachaar (I mean to say,start sobbing and making you feel guilty) and some resort to anger management. But how much can the parents guarantee that the marriage would be successful even if it was an arranged marriage with their so-called perfect groom?? Even love marriages has their pros and cons but at least its reasonable cos in the end it was your decision and you knew the other person perfectly before getting married. In life,nothing comes with a guarantee card, only we can try to work out the relation.
All said and done in this tension atmosphere, in the end, one of the party ( either the gal or the parents) gives up their stubbornness to make the other person happy.
Well everything has an ending, some happy and some forcedly happy.
I really need a feedback on this issue from every one, whoever reads it, what would you do in such a situation? will you cause the pain or bear the pain ?