Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Perfect Groom

Don't worry this is not another reality show coming up on Indian Television. Traditionally in our Indian community, our parents selects the groom for his daughter, even today. Now what do parents look in a guy as to be determined if he is the most suitable groom??

The primary qualities should be

  • He should be a boy.( I mean to say, he should be straight and not gay).
  • Next He should belong to the same caste as well as same religion.
  • He should be earning very well.
  • He should be highly qualified.
  • He should belong to a very good family.
  • Horoscopes should match.
  • People who are Nri, mostly prefer Nri son-in-law.

The Secondary qualities are listed below:

  • He should respect elders and promise to keep the daughter like a princess.
  • He should not have any bad habits like Drinking or Smoking.
  • He should have his own house.
  • And in some case, if he has a sister, she should be already married off.
  • He should be very good looking. (this is very rare, but sometimes it can be a priority)

I think I have listed almost the main points, rest you can add your own qualities in this list.

Now the issue is, if the gal is in love with a boy, parents are never able to accept it.I guess the parents feel their Right to select the best available groom in the market has being snatched away from them. Moreover,the boy doesn't have One of the primary qualities (those listed above) in him,even if he has the rest other qualities matching. What would you do in such a tricky situation? Don't tell me those filmy ideas of DDLJ, now a days parents are more smart. I know some would say that convince your parents about your happiness and damn the society, but does it really convince them ??? Some where deep down, the gals feels guilt for hurting the parents. Even I would say convincing is the only option available but in extreme cases, that doesn't work too, even if they love their daughter too much.

I am not blaming the parents, but atleast they can be accommodating. Some parents start their emotional attyachaar (I mean to say,start sobbing and making you feel guilty) and some resort to anger management. But how much can the parents guarantee that the marriage would be successful even if it was an arranged marriage with their so-called perfect groom?? Even love marriages has their pros and cons but at least its reasonable cos in the end it was your decision and you knew the other person perfectly before getting married. In life,nothing comes with a guarantee card, only we can try to work out the relation.

All said and done in this tension atmosphere, in the end, one of the party ( either the gal or the parents) gives up their stubbornness to make the other person happy.

Well everything has an ending, some happy and some forcedly happy.

I really need a feedback on this issue from every one, whoever reads it, what would you do in such a situation? will you cause the pain or bear the pain ?


ApocalypsE said...

tats an insult.... :D

Why that much space? :D

Americanising Desi said...

ok now that was creepy!

[V] said...

cause the pain... that's me !!

My life my decisions.

If I have to be killed then I have the right to chose my killer.

That's my philosphy.

nice post though...I have seen such a situation in my life 9 years ago.
But my cousin sister chose to take the pain on herself and made her parents happy.Trust me she went through hell in her life.The choice of her parents was wrong.

So I always think that a decision that will affect your life should be made by you.

anyways ...
take care :)

hitchwriter said...

do no bow... hang in and convince parents !

Suresh Kumar said...

Try to convince first... If can't then bear the pain.... Easier said than done... I know.....

phir bhi parents first na....

moi said...

@Apocalypse : Where is the insult? I am not insulting any one here, just few facts. And I am not hurting any one here.

@Seher: May be, but Its scary more than being creepy.

moi said...

@[V] : Hey thanks for dropping by and I am glad you liked the post. Well I appreciate your honesty here.

@hitchwriter : Thank you for the advice dear.

moi said...

@Suresh : I know parents hai na, we can only try to convince and rest leave it to them.

Preeti said...

I can relate ...its kahani ghar ghar ki ...
In my family religion is the major issue , others can be ignored and accomodated , but even then I know that you can be calculative when you love someone ...
love and marriage is the biggest gamble of life my dear ..and I think if my life is at stake , let me atleast choose to play my way one can gaurantee happiness ...

we must not ignore that family and economic status of a groom is of importance ..i'll say dotn ignore any point and sit down and answer yourself , is this guy worth fighting for ..if answer is yes ..then GO ahead , blackmail , threat , cry , stop taking to them whtever it takes ...but dotn marry anyone if you are not 100% sure of ...its your life and it has to be your decision ..

good luck :)

moi said...

@Preethi : well that was really an honest reply.And I am very thankful for that advise.I really appreciate it.

Kulpreet said...

Yeah! It sure is a good take! Life is less complicated when one is past all this. Like me!

Infinite Monkeys. said...

whats to think about!!!
the parents should back off and the boy and the girl ought to have freedom over this.

Keshi said...

Merry Christmas & a very Happy New Year to ya Moi! :)


lena said...

I guess thats indeed a tough one, but if the girl wants to be happy she can first try to convince her parents, then she will never have regrets that she didnt try this way..

happy new year :)

Vinod R Iyer said...

I believe you better convince your parents. Let's face it.. we are the ones who would be living with the person for a lifetime!! And even if there are a few misses in the "Primary qualities" and "secondary qualities" I think you should consider. Life hai yaar.. not a job interview ! :)