When there is a better place to live. Why suffer everytime
by staying here. What do I gain ? Is it always about gaining or losing. But
atleast its about that peaceful life which I long for, which I haven’t
experienced from a long time. Who is it to be blamed? Me myself and I.
I want to move to a better place but other’s mind I am
unable to change. Why do I need to make every one agree for moving out from
here. Why don’t they want a better life or a stress free life. Its almost 20 years they have stayed here. May be they have
developed attachment for it. But I don’t seem to develop anything for this sad
place. Every other day, there is some issue,either it’s the electrical or basic water needs. Why
is this such a sad place to live ? Constant fight,disgust and hatred I feel most of the time.I want to be free from all this. I want to run off but I am tied.
I have being taught to adjust,
to make sacrifices, to think of others first than myself. But for how long can
I continue like this? I am not a strong person and I can’t pretend to be. I
know there is a better place than this one but I am unable to convince others
and I have to continue staying like this.
Now I have become bitter towards every one even though its
not their fault but I can’t help it. I can’t hide my disappointment in them so
it turns into bitterness and it comes out once in awhile. And by the time I
realize it, its too late.
Sometimes I don’t feel anything, I can’t even seem to cry
now. I am unable to forgive even though its not their fault. Life has become
complex and to untangle it we have to move in circles again and again until I am able to breathe free.
Posts
