Make sentences

I am not able to write

I want to write short stories, may be a poem or two, and babble a lot about my boring life.

Oh when everything seems perfect, i think boredom is nearby.

Life becomes hectic with so many caps to adorn ,of a mother, chef, maid,cleaner, housewife and finally being me.Oh I don't know where I fit in all these. 

One thing for sure, it has taught me, that we can be anything if our mind decides to. But this silly mind keeps playing games with us, It keeps telling us that you can't and you let it win. And some days, it keeps telling us that you will just make it and you don't . So who is the culprit here? The MIND or the "I".

Sometimes not so sure if  I can even frame a sentence or have I forgotten what are sentences.

Hah!! You remember those school days homework,make sentences of the following words: Action, Time, Live and etc

And usually we would come up with

Action : I like watching action movies.

Time: Time is very precious, we should not waste it.

Live: I live in India....

Okay I can still make those sentences. 

See as I said, mind keeps playing crucial games with me.  Just before writing this, I was in dilemma, what will I write and what it will be about and who will even bother reading it.

But as I stood firmly on my writing grounds, I am able to write such a lengthy post which doesn't even have a proper title till now. So initially let me say "Make sentences".

Or should I just say "WORDS" and  join it with another "word" and there you have a sentence. May be a silly sentence but after all a sentence to beckon with.

My little one and The New Laptop

                                               Mummy you got a Laptop for me ?

Wow it is very nice. Now I am going to work like you.You work in your laptop and I will work in mine.

After few minutes of playing in the laptop, mummy this laptop is not that good. I want a big screen like yours.

Then I show him to play games and melodies in it. He is attracted towards the shooting game and he is busy playing it.

Few hours later I call him for lunch, he replies "Mummy I am busy . I have lots of work to do.Once I finish I will come".

After some time, my laptop goes off as battery goes down . So my little one tells me, mummy you can use my laptop for work and its working properly also. Please use my laptop and complete your work. 

Movie Reviews - Gangs of Wasseypur 1 & 2

Yeah it released last year some time but couldn't get to watch it. I watched it recently and it is that type of movie which makes you feel that how tough is life for people of  dhanbad or part of west bengal. I mean movie may be fictional or some part of it might be true too but its all ends in a sad note.

The movie is all about revenge from the grandpa era to the young generation. Its like you never think, it would end up like this. What I really liked about the movie, is the way the men speak to the women, I mean its so sweet. I mean when you think of such movie, you think they would be rude and arrogant. But here they speak so sweetly, that you  really like the character. And it makes you want to watch it till the end. 

Its really a 6 hour movie and totally worth it. Its how life is and how people are in these area. I mean, just for a silly thing, they would blow up a whole village. I mean so many gunshots are being shot and its like no 1 is scared of any 1,at one moment you feel like where the hell is the law and order in such area ?  

For understanding part 2, you need to watch the part 1, even the small whispers are somewhat linked to main event in the movie. Some where or the other some 1 is going to die due to some silly reason. Its just the loyalty counts. 

And yes the music is best suited to the situation in the movie and it doesn't feel out of place.

As you know the main one- O womania,... or the Hunter... or  Keh ke Lunga, all are good

My review is not like typical review which we usually read, where in they mention about the  movie story. But its just what I felt after watching the movie. 

I would surely give a  5 star for the movie and yes I would say those who can digest lot of violence should watch it, Its not for the faint hearted. 

After watching it, I really wanted to know how others felt about it, I am so keen on discussing about it. 

Whats in a name

There is lot to it if u think so.After all its going to be stuck to you whole life .(Yeah some do change it through legal proceedings). But I am not going to look into that for now.

When I was pregnant, I and my hubby had selected on few names for our unborn baby. If it was going to be a boy, We would have named him Aarav and if it was a gal, then we would have named her Aarohi.

And when finally the baby arrived, I called him while lying on my bed and that too for the first time  ie Aaaru, my sweet Aaaru.

But when the naming ceremony came up, we had to look for names which co-existed with the stars. So his was "D". There were so few names with D, one eg was "Dhananjay". it sounded so old. And I was not at all happy with the D letter.

I was in a fix, if to go with the stars or with Aarav.

And there was my mom constantly advising or I should say pressurizing to go with the star name. But I was not convinced. So I asked opinion of my hubby. And he was like, its not that bad after all to go with the stars. So we started to look for names with "D". Then my mom wanted it to be lord Krishna name. So double work again, criteria : Name starting with D and has to be lord Krishna names.

So finally my hubby found "Darsh", In Gujarati, it seems, they call Krishna with another name called "DARSH".

But the dilemma of naming my child Aarav as Darsh was very difficult for me. I know what's there in a name but I couldn't let go of Aarav till the last. Finally for every one happiness, I bowed down to Darsh. And finally the name stuck as Darsh for my little naughty darling.

Later I decided I would call him Aarav only at home, and for outside world, he would be Darsh. It use to be so tough for me, as initially I was calling him Aaru out of love, and then slowly now I have started calling Darsh and now its Darshuuu out of love.

My hubby jokes sometimes that if it was a gal, then it would have being Darshini. Lol.

So much for the name I say.

Why stay here

When there is a better place to live. Why suffer everytime by staying here. What do I gain ? Is it always about gaining or losing. But atleast its about that peaceful life which I long for, which I haven’t experienced from a long time. Who is it to be blamed? Me myself and I.

I want to move to a better place but other’s mind I am unable to change. Why do I need to make every one agree for moving out from here. Why don’t they want a better life or a stress free life. Its almost  20 years they have stayed here. May be they have developed attachment for it. But I don’t seem to develop anything for this sad place. Every other day, there is some issue,either  it’s the electrical or basic water needs. Why is this such a sad place to live ? Constant fight,disgust and hatred I feel most of the time.I want to be free from all this. I want to run off  but I am tied. 

I have being taught to adjust, to make sacrifices, to think of others first than myself. But for how long can I continue like this? I am not a strong person and I can’t pretend to be. I know there is a better place than this one but I am unable to convince others and I have to continue staying like this.

Now I have become bitter towards every one even though its not their fault but I can’t help it. I can’t hide my disappointment in them so it turns into bitterness and it comes out once in awhile. And by the time I realize it, its too late.

Sometimes I don’t feel anything, I can’t even seem to cry now. I am unable to forgive even though its not their fault. Life has become complex and to untangle it we have to move in circles again and again until I am able to breathe free.

Sunday Movie Time

Oh my writing genes are not working anymore like it use to work 4 years before. I am completely at loss of topic.my cousins says that I have a kid and I can go on writing about him and his antics but I don’t know I am not able to. Gosh I am so uncreative these days.

I watched 2 states after so much buttering to my hubby. He didn’t want to come for a love story and he was adamant on watching Bhootnath returns. And I like a romantic die hard fan of romance, was dying to see the movie. After all it was my favorite novel and author’s marriage story. My husband even suggested that he would get me a good dvd print and I can watch it comfortably at home. According to me, the theatre  effect doesn’t come at home, so somehow I feel some movies are worth watching in theatres. And I have made same mistakes in the past by watching some really good movies at home.Like for eg: "Jab we met": I know it came on tv so many times that I hate it now. But when I had first seen the movie, I just wanted to book a ticket in theatre and watch it all over again. Then there was "3 idiots", okay another of chetan bhagats novel adapataion “Five Point Someone”. So I just didn’t want to do that with 2 states.

 But somehow I couldn’t enjoy it like the book. I was hoping lot more from the movie as the book was damn good and hard to be kept down until you completed the book. The movie somehow seemed draggy and moved at a very slow pace to me. But surprisingly my husband and my cousins, all  loved the movie as they had not read the book, so I think it was good for them. It’s a simple love story and any one would connect with it. But somehow I couldn’t connect with it. Okay enough about me ranting that the movie didn’t surpass my expectation, after all the movie got 4 stars and is still minting money at the box office. So I won’t complain more. 

Note: Above pic taken from wikimedia.org

Motherhood : the pain,the trauma and glory

I have missed writing here for a long period. Each time I write and then I don’t post it. Thinking it is too gibberish to post it or start a new blog and then don’t know it’s all forgotten in this busy world of mine.

I thought after marriage, I would have lots to post about. But I never did.

Then a little boy came in my life and I got caught up in his activities, with no time left for me.

I don’t know how other mommy bloggers do it, but it’s still took me almost 1.5 years to come to grip towards my normal life.

During pregnancy I was in my own happy go world, worrying about delivery and the baby’s health etc.

Then once the little baby came in my life, I had to go through lot of pain. And dealing with these pains, I banished myself from the outside world completely. I use to be miserable and lonely and asking most of the time WHY ME??

Finally after few months, the pains were gone but the scars of it remain. And emotionally and physically too drained to contact anyone. Most of the time worried that I may harm my own baby unknowingly or some or the other mistakes I may do and my little baby have to suffer.

After 1^st delivery, I would like to take a bow to all the brave mother’s who gave birth to 2^nd or more child. I am not discouraging others but it’s really takes guts and to be strong enough to brave all the pain which comes along with motherhood. It’s truly said, that when a child is born, a mother is also born along with it.  

Then whole time worried, that the child is not reaching his milestone activities which are mentioned in the books. It is an emotional journey for a parent to see the child grow normally and be proud of it.

And there is vaccination pain which the child has to endure for few minutes but the pain lingers in my heart and mind for a day or until the baby gives me the reassuring smile that he is alright.

All this I never shared with any one for a long time but now I am comfortable with it and I write it here as my comeback post.

Clearing the dust gathered here

I have being away from the blog from such a long time; I don’t know what has gotten into me. I think I have forgotten its existence as well. Previously at least I use to open my blog everyday just to read others blog but now I don’t even do that. Once in a blue moon, when I don’t know what to do or feel, I open few blogs who keep updating everyday and reading them makes me feel good. And today was one such rare occasion, where in I felt I needed to clear the cobwebs surrounding my blog. So today finally I decided that I would also write something just for letting myself free. I feel I depend on others for my happiness, instead of finding happiness within me.

I am not very busy these days like I use to be before. But yes priorities have changed, so I don’t tend to write anything. Like writers have a phase of “writers block”, I would say even I am going through that same phase, where in I don’t know what to blog about, even though I am not any writer, I just blog.

For the first time, our politicians are worried about one major issue, no not the soaring high prices of commodities or petrol price but yes "Who would be our next president ??" .For so many years, we never even had this discussion but all of a sudden every one is busy electing a president for our country. I wonder what is the hue and cry about it. Is mr.president going to solve some major issue of our country or its another of the political tatics to be in news for no good reason.

Other day I got a message in my mobile, " A major fire has broke out in mantralaya and all the ministers are still inside the building, I am confused If I should put water or petrol on it ". At first I thought it was just a joke but it turned out to be real. And after that day, every news channel has one common news of "Fire broke out in so and so place".  In this digitalization age, where in we have more than 90 channels to watch but none are watchable. How sad!! Just 25 years back we had only two channels, and we had something to watch worthwhile.

Okay thats about the world, I think I need to write something more worthwhile these days.

Little things you do

The Little things you do for me
and nobody else make me feel Good
Little things you do for me
Making me smile and no one else could
That's why i like to sit next to you
and Hear your mad stories, i know they're not true
and i like that we share a secret or two .....Together
Little things you do for me.

bEAUTIFULL SUNSET

With Sky painted blue, and white clouds adorning it like a pearl necklace.

Slowly and slowly they keep moving above

And you are sure to miss this slow movements

 if you don’t tend to observe it carefully.

Then there is the mighty bird which keep floating across the sky

It keeps going round and round as though testing its own flight

And then slowly it too disappears.

Then there is the sound of flapping of wings of a small bird

Which is trying to fly and it does so but it looks so timid and small

Compared to the mighty birds flight.

Then there is a sudden gush of wind as though trying to block the small bird flight.

But it is able to gently sway the trees and a fresh breath of air surrounds you.

And you seem to be engulfed with the sun’s glaring ray.

And slowly the sky shades turns orangish blue.

And you know its time for the sun to set.

And you are surrounded only with the chilled and silent air.

I wonder if I could paint this scene or  could I capture it in my camera

But alas the time moves ahead and its dark now

Leaving me to wonder if I could capture it ever?

captured by,

 moi

Happy Birthday Mummy

Yes she never let me call her “AMMA”

Cos she wanted me to learn to speak English

Even though I used to go to English medium school

But never spoke a word in English.

So she emphasized on using “Mummy” instead of “AMMA”.

And whenever some kids teased me

She used to become my bodyguard

And I used to quietly enjoy it when she scolded them.

Even though I was the only child for her,

We never shared a loving mother-daughter relationship

Instead we fought with each other

on any given opportunity and followed by the famous MAUN-VRAT (vow to keep silence).

I was never pampered like everyone assumes,

Instead I used to get beatings from her with wooden ruler every now and then,

Even the broomstick, frying pan weren’t spared in some cases.

And still she was the only one,

who cried when I got married.

She loves cleanliness and she is a very hard working person

And she assumed I would become her replica

Instead I am the exact opposite of her.

She makes many delicious foods and I don’t think I can ever do that.

Sometimes she will give me her cooking tips

And we would end up fighting.

That way we continue our loving relationship.

She is smart, suspicious and courageous lady

to bring up a daughter like me.

And indeed I am what I am only because of her.

She taught me to keep trying until success kisses my feet.

And she let me be lazy when other parents were preaching.

Though she won’t be reading this,

But she knows that I love her in my own way

Even though I never tell her about it.

Happy Birthday Mummy .


Note: A specialty of her bday is that we celebrate it twice in a year, once in March and once in November as we have not being able to solve the confusion of dates yet.

Happy Birthday Gal

We didn’t grew up together                                                        

But went to same college.

We were not in the same class

But had same friend circle.

Became Best Buddies only after college.

Faced almost same type of struggle

Tried for many jobs together with no luck on our side.

Once a astrologer predicted almost same future for us,

But it all turned out to be false (thank god).

Finally got together into one crazy company,

where in conversations grew longer

And five days in a week was never enough.

And yes our long afternoon walks to Bharat Mall

Guess even the cleaner knew us too well over there.

Both loved reading romantic books.

And even loved a drink called Peach Schnapps.

Loved hogging on squid chillie and wine in Village.

Started blogging together

and even knew each other’s password too well.

Sometimes acted as content editor for the blog,

And sometimes even acted as relationships advisor.

Someday shared a special soup from nearby restaurant,

And some day shared a whole North Indian Thali (meal).

Gossiped about everyone as though we were perfect

Went to Bangalore together to clear the CAT

Instead got boozed and enjoyed karaoke in a pub.

Both being the only child to their parents,

Had found a lost sister in each other’s company.

Soon both went separate ways for good,                       

And remained in each other’s heart

As distance and commitments separated us.

Now technology keeps us together

She is and will remain the Charmed One

And I dedicate this to her, on her special day

Happy Birthday Charmed One.

Cheers even though you grow old by a number today.

Is it really a bad omen?

This is my first diwali after marriage and being my favourite festival of the year, I always look forward for it. Diwali means lot of things to lot of people. For me, its all about new dresses, rangoli, lighting diyas, decorating the house, burning lot of crackers and yes of course eating lots of sweets and my list goes on. I have not mentioned about making sweets in the list, as I am not so fond of that part nor I have ever tried making something before diwali.  Just few days before diwali, I brought few diyas and painted them. I am not so good in making rangoli designs and I was surprised, when my MIL told me that the boy was good in making rangoli designs. Since he had not tried it for a long time, I decided to get readymade designs and he did the coloring part. I must say, he is very efficient in it, I mean perfect straight lines and perfect filling. I never expected a guy could be good in rangoli. Well here is 1 photo below depicting the boy’s near perfect rangoli and the other picture depicting my painted diyas.

 

 

Boy is not that fond of bursting crackers but on my repeated insistence, he brought few of them and we went down four floors below to burst them. We finished one set of crackers and next moment, there was a little chaos, few people were running back and fro from the building and main entrance gate, asking for a doctor as there was some emergency. We didn’t know what the emergency was but just kept the confusion to ourselves. Then boy asked me to go back home and he went in search for a doctor. On my way to home, I kept asking few people “what happened?” but nobody knew anything. With a confused look and my left over crackers, I climbed the four floors to reach my home. I waited for boy’s phone call but there was no sign of it. After forty five minutes of waiting, boy came home and by looking at his face expression, I knew there was bad news. I waited for the boy to disclose the news; he disclosed that one person had died in the neighboring building due to cancer. Everything happens so fast, one moment we are celebrating and next we are mourning.

 

I felt really bad and my condolences are wit the lost ones family even though we don’t know them but one soul has just left his body. Diwali didn’t turn out to be the diwali I had hoped for. I was upset with all the things that happened that evening. Later boy hugged me and asked me not to think of it as a bad omen. I don’t know what to make of it, but the thought of bad omen lingers on.

What sweets did you prepare this Diwali?

 That’s the question I have being questioned by innumerable relatives and cousins. And I would  just say innocently “Nothing”. But my MIL (mother-in-law)  did make few sweets as being my first diwali after marriage. Then the second question arises from their mind “Ok so did you atleast help her in making them?”.  Again innocently I say “Yes I helped her in the final stage by being the taste judge of all the items being prepared.”  I tasted the first besan laddu and gave MIL, my invaluable comments that the laddu had indeed turned out perfect and can nicely be hogged upon without thinking too much about the weight. Then came the turn of another sweet named “karanji”. Well  I don’t know the English name for it but  its preparation involves lot of hard work compared to other sweets and moreover, very few people like to eat  more than one piece of it. So as you can guess, I get to taste the first Karanji being made my MIL and again gave her a thumbs up sign to let her know that it was indeed very crunchy and not very sweet, just perfect sweet. And then came the most favourite sweet enjoyed by all and eaten at regular intervals by most named “ShankarPali”. Again I don’t know the English name for this, and as usual, I still didn’t go to help my MIL in the preparation of this sweet as well, I ate three to four pieces of shankarpali and again gave thumbs up sign for MIL.  And other sweets, we just brought them from shops and few my aunty brought over for letting me hog.  I know I am not good DIL (daughter-in-law) yet but for time being  it’s the best way I could help MIL and share my diwali wishes with you all. Happy Diwali and Happy New Year. I know its just bit too late but I have heard Diwali lasts till Tulsi Puja and after all I was so busy helping my MIL , so you  can usually understand the delay in posting this post on my blog. And before I forget, do let me know about the sweets you prepared this Diwali.

Good and Bad Score

Below two lines are in Hindi language:

"Kya aap jaante hai aap kitne acche or kitne bure hai. Jaaniye apne andar ke ache aur bure ka score. Score janne ke liye sms kare, GVBH (Aapka Naam) to XX777.Rs 3/sms."


Above message translated in English below:

“Do you know how good are you or how bad are you? Now you can know the score of your inner goodness and badness. To know your score, just sms GVBH (Your Name) to xxx77. Rs.3/sms.”


Above message was sent by Vodafone Customer Care. They keep sending so many messages and I keep deleting them but this one I couldn't let it delete that easily. It had got my attention and I had to react on it. I am flattered, just by my name; I can now know my good and bad score and that too just for Rs 3. ROFL !!! I can’t stop laughing; I mean what the hell these sms center think of themselves? Do they really think that they are gaining customers like this? I am really bugged by their messages and thinking of shifting to another Telecom network.

Since the message had irritated me a lot, I decided to irritate the boy too. So I sent him the same above message with few changes as typed below in hindi:

"Kya aap jaante hai aap kitne acche or kitne bure hai. Jaaniye apne andar ke ache aur bure ka score. Score janne ke liye sms kare, ILU (Mera Naam) teen bashaavo mein mere number par.Rs 1/ sms "


Above message translated in English below:

"Do you know how good are you or how bad are you? Now you can know the score of your inner goodness and badness. To know your score, just sms ILU (My Name) in 3 different languages to my number. Rs 1/sms only."


I am still eagerly awaiting boy's reply as he claims to be busy in work and seems to be unaffected by such sms.

Little Diary

Little diary,

Which knows

many secrets

Of Mine has become a friend.

Started as a habit of writing every night

And now turning out to be my strength,

And wealth in times of need.

It doesn’t even judge me,

No matter how dirty my secrets are!!

It just becomes a witness to all my pretty sins,

My short lived happiness,

And to my lost world.

It knows all in and out.

It’s a dangerous secret,

If misplaced in wrong hands

It could lead into disastrous situations.

Started as a hobby and now turning out to be a dangerous game

Little diary knows it ALL.

(Above Image  via flickr )

Short Story : Missing Her

Today I will take a walk instead of autorickshaw which I normally take while going home. Anyways I am not in a hurry to reach home, as she is not here. Otherwise she would call and shout: where are you?  Why are you late? Yeah she says she is concerned but the way she screams on phone makes me thinks otherwise. Is it really concerned or just curious if I am roaming with somebody? Then she will give a list of things to be purchased like I am some shopkeeper providing home delivery service. And in the end, she will say, come fast, I am waiting.  I use to control my anger because I use to feel dominated by her but I ignore it and would just say Okay.

When I rang the door bell of the house, I half expected her to run from the bedroom to open the door but it’s my father who opens it. And I enter the house and still half expecting her to take my wallet to keep it safely in the cupboard, she says she loves it but I like it more than her, though I have never told her this. But alas, there is no sign of her anywhere in the house. I go to my room and open the cupboard to place the watch, and change my clothes.  She is not in the balcony so that I could pinch her at the back and tease her for being fat. Not that it matters to me, but she gets irritated, so I do it. I lie on the bed, imaging her face, her giggles and her long curly hair, she looked like an innocent child but she is not here, I can only smell her perfume on the pillow cover.

My head is splitting with headache. It’s being there, since the time she went away. When she was here, she liked massaging my face and the body. She used to enjoy it and it was her regular chore before we cuddled in the night. Then one day, she wanted to make love under the open sky, she had fantasized it for a long time, so we did it in once at 2 am in the terrace. She loved singing. She didn’t have a great voice but just to irritate me, she would do it. She never liked taking orders from me. If I did, I would end up hearing her set of complaints about how much she is compromising in her life by marrying me. She behaved like a queen and indeed she was for me, a prized possession I enjoyed my life with. We were married for two years but still behaved like kids fighting for a single toy. She was a darling of my parents.  Not that she did any housework, infract she didn’t do any work at all in the house. She knew her way around with my mom. She loaded her with gifts and use to pamper her. And get special whisky bottles for my dad. And I had fallen in love with her at first sight. So she had us all under her charm.

One night she surprised me by singing a lullaby. And it sounded so horrible, that I had to kiss her for a longest time before she finally gave up. I can still feel her laughing under my lips.  It’s being two months since I lost her in a car accident. She wasn’t even driving, Oh god! It was not even her fault.  We had our lovers tiff and just to prove that she can manage alone, she went off alone to have her roadside delicacies. I only wish I had gone with her. That unfateful day, destiny had made plans for her. A young boy in his twenties, royally drunk, lost control of his car and hit her and she died on the spot due to internal bleeding. In death also, she proved herself right that she can manage alone. It’s only I who cannot manage alone now. I am missing her.

Love or Arranged Marriages

There are people those who will advice you

Never go for love marriage

OR Never go for arranged marriage

OR Never marry only

But I would like to tell you

Marriage, arranged or love,

It requires a whole amount of

Your Time,

Your Caring Nature,

Your love,

Your patience and

Lastly and most importantly

Your  Forgiving nature.

I guess we all have this in us

but sometimes we just don’t want to 

While climbing

I climb the stairs with great difficulty, not that I am too old to climb this staircase. But thinking of the four floors which I have to climb and reach without an elevator makes me all the more tired and I stop at every floor to catch a breath. And sometimes while climbing I wonder if someone is observing me and laughing at me for getting tired so easily. And then I hope that sweetheart would lift me up and drop me home. I know it is tiring for him also but it’s a just passing thought. And yes while climbing I even peep at others house, to see what kind of people live here and sometimes to see the interiors of their house. Some people’s house are so good, it looks like crafted right out of a interior design book, but when you observe the exterior of this building, it looks old, dirty and ready to fall at a little mini earthquake of 1 richer scale. When I observe the ground floor lighting, I make a mental note that I would never buy a house in ground floor as it would be prone to all kind of attacks, what if rain water comes inside your room, or a stranger barges into your house or if some neighbors threw a waste from top floors. Glad that I don’t own a ground floor house, I move on to the first floor. Yay I finally managed one floor without getting tired and I admire all the rooms on that floor, because they are lucky to have houses in this floor. And I look for any girl or a woman, who can become my friend. But like the ground floor, no doors are open here and no one is outside. And I look up, counting, how many more floors remaining to reach my house. And then slowly breathing I reach the second floor. For a change, there are many shoes outside each house and I notice that one of the house owner is providing tutorial for drawing. So there are many small children’s in that house. I peep in that house, hoping to join the classes for learning drawing and I look at the teacher and smile and I dash off to the next floor by taking a heavy breath. And I feel overly restless and tired and hoping my house would shift one floor below, so that I don’t have to climb one extra floor. I stop here for a long time to catch my breath and start hoping for a miracle to take place. But such a thing never happens, and slowly I lift my legs to reach the final floor, the fourth floor, that’s where I live and I am completely breathless when I ring the bell. As the door opens, I run to my room and take a small nap under the fast fan to stop being breathless. And I start making mental note, that I would never buy a house in fourth floor.

For no reason

Sometimes destiny brings us together for no apparent reason and takes us far away from each other for no apparent reason. But they say that whatever happens, it happens for our good. I ask what good is there to meet someone, love someone, being loved by that someone and then loose them forever. Why go through all this circle of emotions for no apparent reason, where in lays only the sad part of life.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

Happy birthday sweetheart

You are adorable

You are irresistible

You are fun

You are loving

You are smart

And you are mine

And I raise my wine glass

To do cheers with your beer glass

To know that you are special

And I hope to make this day also special

As you have made my life special with your presence

By wearing a deep red color gown

Holding your hand firm

Looking deep in your eyes

And heart filled with emotions

I ask for a dance with you

I ask for a lifetime with you

I ask to be your friend

I ask to be your soul mate

I ask to be your companion

I ask to share your sins

I ask to share your joy

I ask to share your sorrow

I ask to share your dreams

I ask to share your drink

I ask to share our life together

And lastly, I ask to smear the cake on your face

Happy birthday sweetheart 

I am proud to be an Indian

Our tricolor flag speaks volumes for us as a nation and as a country and clearly indicates who we are even if each one of us is different in our own way. And as the tricolor merges into one and forming  our country's flag, I think even we need to join hands together for a better tomorrow.

Happy Independence Day - Come let us stand  together for a better future of our country. For a change, let us do something, so that our country feels  proud of us.  Each effort towards a better India, will not be waste as it is always assumed. It will lead somewhere to a better place than we are at present.

Here is for another rainy day

Here is for another rainy day

Where in you would want to get wet by holding them near

And that someone wouldn't want to do the same.

Sometimes you miss someone so much

That you start fighting with them for no reason at all.

And sometimes you fight with them so much

That you wish that you had never met them at all.

Sometimes you want to be with the person 

Who loves you and thinks of you only the whole time

And when such a thing happens

You start looking for some one

Who thinks of things other than you.

Sometimes someone will love you so much

That you would find excuses and reasons to be away from them

And when you start realizing their worth

You would be left with only reasons and excuses.

And so the rainy day continues....

Don't know what to write about

So I am writing about writing itself. 

I want to write down lot of things

but when I actually start writing

I end up only with few words to spare

and sometimes it so happens 

that I do write down lot of things 

but they don't actually make any sense to me

and I post it,hoping that it makes sense to some one else

Poochie - my stuffed doggie

Once I had a stuffed doggie which I fondly called as "Poochie". It had a mixture of golden and white furs. It was very soft and plump to hold. It had round eyes like a black button and red tongue hanging out his mouth as though waiting to be fed. I use to cuddle with it all night and speak to him in day time whenever I felt sad. It gave solace even with its silence and cute face. Some days I wished, it could speak to me or may be by some miracle, it could start wagging his tail.

One night, it so happened, that I had a terrible dream, where in full slab of tiles had fallen over my face and I had being severely injured and I cried out in pain and woke up every one around me.Then I realised that it was only a dream and every one went back to sleep. It started thundering and raining heavily. There were loud sounds of trees falling down. Then I saw Poochie  lying around me and strangely it looked like as though it was possessed. I felt his eyes shine in the dark and it scared the hell out of me. I saw his tail move for one moment. It looked like that it was going to start talking to me but before it could do such a thing, I managed to keep it out of my sight. I don't know if it was my imagination or it really happened but it spooked me out. I couldn’t sleep that night nor could I hold Poochie that night or any future nights. I covered myself fully with my blanket, even though I couldn’t breathe properly within the blanket, I didn’t dare to peep through it. I continuously twisted and turned in my bed to get sleep and desperately waited for the morning to arrive.

Somehow the long night got over and  sunlight appeared. I was scared to touch Poochie in the day light. I didn’t even have the guts to look at its eyes. With great determination and taking all the possible god's names, I lifted and packed Poochie  inside one suitcase so that it could never scare me again. Sometimes, we have to be careful of what wish we make, cos you never know it might actually come true in any form.

Random ramblings

Rambling 1:  "Life has become a puzzle to be solved

                    Waiting for the right pieces to fall in their correct places

                    Until then it’s all about having patience to move on."

Rambling 2:  "Love is like a dark chocolate
                    Its looks all tempting from the outside
                    But once you have tasted it,
                    It doesn’t feel like a chocolate anymore."

When He Is..

When he is near, I want him to hold me and love me.

When he is away, I want him to miss me the minute he says me ‘goodbye’.

When he is with me, I want him to look deep in my eyes.

Together in a crowd, I want him to hold my hands.

In a party, I want his eyes searching for me.

When in fight, I want him to use the pillow.

In happiness, I want him to lift me up like a trophy.

In sadness, I want him to kiss away all my tears.

When in doubt, I want him to hold me tight.

And in silence, I want him to read me.

And the saga continues….

I don’t know what you call this

I want him with me always.

Just Married

Has it happened to you that you don’t want that some things to happen in your life at all and you dread the worst of it .And no matter how hard you try, it still happens to you and with all the courage you accept it and fear the worst to happen. And once it actually happens, you actually like it and in fact you enjoy every moment of it and feel blessed that it actually happened.

Well I don’t know how to write those feelings that I feel right now but it’s all a jumble of emotions and you are too stunned to react. Well now I truly believe that marriages are made in heaven and I consider myself a blessed soul to feel all this emotions at this time.

There are lots of changes a woman goes through from being single to being married and it’s a difficult path for any woman to cross it. But when there is a man beside you who loves you, then this crossing of paths also becomes sweeter than you assume. From no tikka to one red tikka on your forehead, from no bangles to many colorful bangles on your hand, from jeans to sarees and from being daddy’s little gal to becoming someone‘s sweetheart, and from one name to a new name and with it many new relationships to accept and still more to experience. And yes I love all of it even though I make a mess of it.

shayad

ab is dard ne aisa mod liya hai
ki isse bayan karne ke liye koi shabd nahi
har kahani ko ek anth ya shuruvath nahi milta
kisi ko yaha mukamal jahan nahi milta
jab kabhi tumhari yaad ayegi
hum apne yaadon se simmat ke ro lenge
aur shayad iske aage humse kuch nahi likha jayega

तिरंगे को सलाम

आज  तिरंगे को सलाम है 

 आज हम भी  तिरंगा  को ऊंचा करेंगे  

जम्मू या कन्याकुमारी में  नहीं 

लाल चौक का किला भी नहीं 

पर आज हम इससे अपने दिल में ऊंचा करेंगे

हम अपने दिल में ख़ुशी से लहराएँगे

इसे धरती का कोना या अम्बर की गहराई नहीं चाहिए

सिर्फ अपने दिल में थोड़ी सी जगह दे दो 

वोह ख़ुशी के  तीन रंग  सारे जहाँ में फ़ैल जायेगा 

यह तिरंगा, जो शान्ति, एकता और प्यार का प्रतीक है 

आज फिर से उसे दिल से सलाम है 

आओ चलो हम भी लहराये तिरंगे को अपने दिल में |